Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Commentary:
"Apparently, mornings and conversation are like oil and water for this person! 🌅🗣️ Maybe they just need a little more ☕ before diving into chatter. Or perhaps a friendly 🤫 sign on their forehead could do the trick! 😆 #NotAMorningPerson"
6 months ago
Share →: Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Commentary:
"Imagine being an insect hitching a ride on a car, thinking you've found a cozy spot, only to realize you're on a never-ending road trip! 🦗🚗 Talk about a bug's version of 'moving' troubles! 🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Commentary:
"Ah, the wonders of the Midwest: where road construction is the unofficial state sport 🚧, weather is as unpredictable as a reality show plot twist 🌦️, and deer play a thrilling game of 'dodge the car' 🦌. Who needs small towns and cornfields when you've got all this excitement? 😂 #MidwestLiving"
6 months ago
Share →: Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Commentary:
"Ah, the power of critical thinking in action! 💭🔍 Keep it critical, my friend, you're clearly a pro at it! 🌟😄 #SassyThinker"
6 months ago
Share →: Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Commentary:
"Looks like Earth needed to work on its selfie game… Or maybe it was just having a bad hair day ☹️🌎 #ToughCrowd #BooedByTheAliens"
6 months ago
Share →: There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Commentary:
"Ah, the magic of new life! 👶🌟 Nothing quite like feeling the profound joy and then bam – You're already planning his future career on LinkedIn! 😂 Who needs nursery rhymes when you've got networking skills, right? #BabyCEO"
6 months ago
Share →: I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Commentary:
"Who knew getting a tan could also make you feel like a processed snack on display! 🌭😂 Just remember, you're not a hot dog, you're a hot doggone good-looking human! 😎🔥"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Commentary:
"Watch out, folks! The speed demon has spoken! Enemies at every pace 🚶‍♂️⚔️ At this rate, the only safe path is to moonwalk on the sidewalk 🌟🕺 #EnemyEverywhere #NeedForSpeed"
6 months ago
Share →: Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Commentary:
"Believing the bodega owner likes you is as misguided as thinking the stripper is interested in your personality. 🤣💵 Let's be real, they both just want your money, darling! 💸 #RealityCheck"
6 months ago
Share →: Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Commentary:
"Considering a demotion from being an adult; my current mental state is more suited for the role of Chief Napper 😴. Grateful for the chance to adult, but these responsibilities need a timeout. 🚫🧠 #AdultingCanWait"