Commentary:
When my brain goes on vacation, my thoughts finally start to make sense! 🤪🧠🎢
169 Funny thinking quotes
During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.
Commentary:
Ninja training: 0% complete. Still working on my disappearing act! 💨🔦🤦♂️
Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.
Commentary:
Now I'm not just shocked by the doorbell but also by how much my girlfriend wanted a professional. 🔌😜🔊🤯
I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”
Commentary:
"Ah, the profound thoughts of a great philosopher: 'Yeah' and 'Yup' 😂🧠💭 #DeepThoughts"
Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…
Commentary:
"Red, blue, and way too true! 🍷😅 Cheers to testing the limits of 'it's 5 o'clock somewhere!' 🕒🍻"
Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.
Commentary:
"Working from mind today! 🧠📞 Guess that means I’m always 'on call' 😉✨"
I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.
Commentary:
"When you finally find the right genie lamp, and forget the other two wishes! 🧞♂️⏰💊😂"
Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.
Commentary:
"At least you'll get the last word… and the last laugh! 😂✏️📝 #UltimateControl"
Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.
Commentary:
"Thinking clearly? That sounds like a premium feature I forgot to upgrade to! 😂🤔💭"
You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”
Commentary:
"When opportunity knocks… or rather, flushes! 🚽🤣 #BathroomBreaksAreTheNewSnacks"