40 Funny toddler quotes

• I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

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  3 weeks ago

  admire, baby, behavior, drop, hold, humor, i, just, parenting, something, toddler, want

• My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

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  2 months ago

  asked, back, came, funny moment, glasses, happening, humor, i, joke, left, literally, misunderstanding, moment, parenting, room, said, today, toddler, zoo

• I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

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  2 months ago

  anything, away, bad, bad behavior, behavior, child, child behavior, got, hilarious, humor, i, know, parenting, right, shut, swear, swear word, swearing, swearing toddler, toddler, word

• Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

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  2 months ago

  3, 3 a.m., a.m., again, am, being, deprivation, getting, ghost, hearing, hoping, humor, just, means, night, noise, parent, parenting, sleep, sleep deprivation, toddler

• If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

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  2 months ago

  again, away, exhaustion, forest, humor, insomnia, night, parenting, running, running away, sleep, tiredness, toddler, tonight

• Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

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  2 months ago

  age, childish, coughing, humor, joke, playful, regress, silly, toddler, tongue

• The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

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  2 months ago

  baby, candy, childhood, everyday, everyday humor, humor, irony, opposite, parenting, playful, putting, safety, sunscreen, taking, toddler

• Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

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  2 months ago

  activity, button, chance, childhood, frustration, fun, fun activity, fury, hell, lost, push, tantrum, temper, toddler

• Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

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  2 months ago

  breaking, child, child entertainment, entertainment, family, family life, getting, having, humor, kids, life, news, parenting, peppa, Peppa Pig, pig, toddler, wild

• A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

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  2 months ago

  accountability, arrogance, authority, ego, having, immaturity, king, narcissist, responsibility, toddler, wants

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