Funny tools quotes

• You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

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  3 weeks ago

  apology, bring, childhood, dad, family, feelings, humor, hurt, i, mistake, tool, tools, used, wrong

• My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

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  3 weeks ago

  being, confusion, dog, dogs, era, fear, food, food invention, having, historical, historical confusion, hot, hot dog, humor, imagine, invention, knowledge, modern, modern knowledge, renaissance, Renaissance era, something, time, time travel, tools, travel, waking

• My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

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  4 weeks ago

  adult, childhood, head, humor, i, irony, lessons, life, life lessons, lose, lose head, me, need, own, parents, responsibility, self-awareness, tools, want

• Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

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  1 month ago

  away, care, dental, dental care, dentist, fool, hand, humor, irony, joke, keep, think, tools, toothbrush

• While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

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  1 month ago

  absurdity, blower, cleaner, cleaning, close, exaggeration, flamethrower, humor, leaf, leaf blower, second, tools, unconventional, unconventional tools

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