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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Making waves on Messenger:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Shared recently on Threads:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Spotted on Reddit:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Shared recently on Telegram:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Just landed via WeChat:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Going viral on Facebook:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Just shared via Snapchat:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Just shared via Reddit:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Going viral on Threads:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Making waves on Twitch:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Going viral on Telegram:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Just shared via X:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

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