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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

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10,978

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Just landed via Snapchat:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Spotted on Twitch:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Just landed via X:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Reported on Reddit:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Just shared via X:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Just shared via Discord:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Breaking via Twitch:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Reported on Telegram:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Breaking via YouTube:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Trending via Twitch:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

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