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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

904 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,066

Funny Quotes Topics

14,007

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11,066

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Making waves on WeChat:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Just shared via Instagram:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Going viral on WeChat:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Trending via Twitch:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Broadcasted on X:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

904 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,066

Funny Quotes Topics

14,007

Funny Quotes Images

11,066

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Live now on Reddit:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Going viral on X:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Going viral on Slack:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

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