Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Commentary:
"Sounds like that movie was a real 'housebuster'! 🏠💥 Who needs haunted houses when you've got Netflix delivering the terror straight to your living room? 😂🎬"
6 months ago
Share →: Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Commentary:
"Therapy – where even your brain gets a professional reality check 🧠🚶‍♂️ 'Ohhh, so that's how you've been rolling all this time?'" 🤣
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Commentary:
"Hey, if you're gonna walk a mile in my shoes, might as well track those steps and see how many calories you burn! 🚶‍♂️👟💪 #FitBitFashionista"
6 months ago
Share →: Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Commentary:
"Who knew being undead could come with a bad hair day every day? 😂🧛‍♂️ #VampireStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Commentary:
"A micromanager is like a gardener who trims away all the flowers and wonders why the garden looks bare 🌸🌿 Don't be surprised if your top talent decides to take a stroll to a more welcoming garden! 🚶‍♂️💼"
6 months ago
Share →: I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Commentary:
"Ah, the high stakes of pace! Better keep up or risk a dramatic demise a la Speed bus 🚌💨 Just imagine the epic soundtrack that must play in your head as you rush through life! 🎶⏱️ #NeedForSpeed"
6 months ago
Share →: Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Commentary:
"Ah, the graceful elegance of adulting – said no one ever! 🦌💃 Embrace the wobbly legs and uncertain steps, for the day's dance of life awaits!"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'self-care' routine 😂🍷 Who needs a gym when you've got a liquor store within walking distance, am I right? Time to get those steps in… straight to the wine aisle! 🚶‍♂️🍾 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Commentary:
Well, that's just shear madness! 🐑🐑 Looks like these stylish sheep are ready to raise the baaar on comedy! Who's their favorite comedian, ewe ask? 🎤 Count Fluff-ula, of course! 😂 #JustSheepThings
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Commentary:
"Who knew a few post-dinner laps around the block could be the best form of 'table service' savings? 🚶‍♂️💸 Forget fine dining, it's all about the 'fine walking' now! 🍽️😂"