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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Spotted on Telegram:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Making waves on WeChat:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Going viral on Telegram:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Trending via Discord:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Home » Funny Waters Quotes

Funny waters quotes

New funny waters quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Commentary:
"Remember folks, retail workers are not miracle workers! 🙄 Next time, maybe start your shopping a tad earlier than waiting for Mary's waters to break. Just a thought! 😂 #BeKindToRetailWorkers"

For even more funny waters quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny waters quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Just shared via Twitch:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Trending via Discord:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Live now on Facebook:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Just shared via Slack:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Trending via Facebook:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Breaking via Messenger:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Just landed via Reddit:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

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Funny waters quotes

New funny waters quotes 👇

For even more funny waters quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny waters quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

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