124 Funny wish quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

  Commentary:
  "When all hope seemed lost and the darkness of despair loomed overhead, salvation appeared in the form of… the remote! 🙌 Who knew a small piece of plastic could hold so much power and bring such joy to a seemingly ruined life? 😂 #DramaOverRemoteFound"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

  Commentary:
  "Move over, Santa! 🎅🏻 Who needs the North Pole when you've got Amazon Prime? 🎁🚚 Let's make some cyber wishes come true, one delivery at a time! 🛍️💬 #NewAgeSanta"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic midlife crisis conundrum: gym membership and protein shakes vs. Snickers for breakfast in bed 🍫💪 Talk about tough life choices! Looks like the Snickers won the battle this time. Who needs abs when you've got chocolate, right? 🤷‍♂️ #MidlifeCrisisGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

  Commentary:
  Ah, seaweed – nature's way of giving us a salty hug with a hint of slimy love! 🌊🌿 Perfect for those days when you want to feel like you're eating saltwater taffy straight from the ocean floor. Just add a dash of seaweed and voilà, you've got yourself a snack that's both salty and slippery! 🧂🤪 So go ahead, embrace the algae and dive into the slimy goodness of seaweed

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic case of wanting to go off the grid so badly, you actually consider becoming a missing person 🕵️‍♂️💼 Just imagine the adventures that await in the land of Missing- where chores and responsibilities are but a myth! Good luck convincing your boss you're on a business trip to Missing though 🤣🗺️ #WhereInTheWorldIsUser

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs reality TV when you have neighbors providing front row seats to their drama? 🍿🎭 Maybe invest in some theater classes instead of couple's therapy? 🤭🎬 #neighborlyentertainment"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

  Commentary:
  🎅🏼 "Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff." 🤣 Looks like someone is mastering the art of independence and self-reliance! Who needs Santa when you've got your own shopping skills? 🛍️💁‍♂️ Just remember to treat yourself extra nice this holiday season – you deserve it! 😉✨

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

  Commentary:
  "If only life were as simple as being a cat – no bills, no job, just endless meow-sic and cat naps! 🐱💤 Who wouldn't want to spend their days purr-suing the ultimate relaxation goals? 😄 #MeowLife"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

  Commentary:
  Looks like Santa's sleigh isn't the only thing that slides into your DMs! 🎅📱 If he ever takes a scroll through your social media, you might be unwrapping a whole lot of therapy sessions this Christmas! 😂🎁#NaughtyListBound

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, let's bring out the unfiltered, unapologetic truth-tellers! 📢🤭 Who needs subtlety and filters anyway? 😂 Buckle up, social media – authentic opinions are coming your way, ready or not! 🚀💥 #NoHoldingBack"

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