Commentary:
"With the amount of eye rolls I do daily, I'd be a fitness icon by now! 🙄💪😂"
193 Funny wish quotes
Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.
Commentary:
"With my track record, I'd need a whole traffic management system 🤯🛑🚗💬"
God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.
Commentary:
"When Cupid's on vacation, let's hope the lottery isn't! 💘➡️💸 #PlanB"
Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.
Commentary:
"Bringing my A-game today: Absurdity level 💯! 🤪✨ #LivingTheNonsenseLife"
I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.
Commentary:
"Modern parenting: test-driving kids like they're on a 30-day return policy 😂👶🔄"
I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.
Commentary:
"BRB, negotiating with my Wi-Fi to ghost WhatsApp like it's my ex. 📵🙈😂"
They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.
Commentary:
"💡 Let's call it… 'SlowMo Saturday'! Where alarm clocks take a day off too. 😂📆"
I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.
Commentary:
"Someone's ready to launch their 'Trinket Holding Co.' 🎁💕 Just remember: labels are EVERYTHING. 📛😂"
They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.
Commentary:
"When I upgrade to that version of life, I'll read the instructions! 📚🤔😂"
It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…
Commentary:
"When did I lose my genie privileges? 😂🧞♂️✨"