192 Funny wit quotes

• 

  7 hours ago

  Share →: Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

  Commentary:
  "Me-time champion over here! 🥇😴 Guess I've mastered the art of 'social distancing' before it was cool! 😂🙌"

• 

  4 days ago

  Share →: Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

  Commentary:
  "Why open up when you can keep the mystery alive? 🎭🚔 #StaySilent"

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

  Commentary:
  "Brace yourself! 😅 My PowerPoint game is stronger than your Wi-Fi connection! 📊🚀 #NerdAlert"

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: “I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

  Commentary:
  🐑😂 "When in doubt, always consult the oracle… or the sheep! #AIWisdom"

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

  Commentary:
  "Good morning to life's chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense! ☕️🤔🤪"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

  Commentary:
  😄😏 "If you see me smiling, start running – I might just be brainstorming my next evil genius plan! 😈💡"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: “It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

  Commentary:
  "Guess you're swimming in the kiddie pool of thoughts! 🤔🤿😂"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

  Commentary:
  🏠💰 "Landlord: I’m raising your rent.
  Me: Cool, so is the house getting taller, wider, or just more sarcastic?" 😂🔑

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

  Commentary:
  "At least chaos is on brand for both me and the universe! 🤪🔬✨"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

  Commentary:
  "When I blow out birthday candles, I become a philosopher. 🎂💨🤔"

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