Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

2 hours ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Seen just now on X:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Going viral on Twitch:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Spotted on Discord:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Reported on Facebook:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Reported on LinkedIn:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Trending via Facebook:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Freshly posted on X:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Live now on Instagram:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Home » Funny Wit Quotes

214 Funny wit quotes

Funny wit quotes celebrate the sharp, clever humor that hits you right between the eyes — and makes you laugh while you’re at it! 😏💡 From quick comebacks to brainy banter, these quotes are proof that a witty mind is the ultimate comedy weapon. Get ready for some smart laughs with serious style! 😂🧠🎯

New funny wit quotes 👇

24 hours ago
Share →: “Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Commentary:
Everything's a joke, especially on Mondays 😅🤪 #LifeIsComedy
3 days ago
Share →: I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Commentary:
Solving mysteries one mistake at a time, but don't worry, I only create the best problems! 🤔✨😅
3 days ago
Share →: While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Commentary:
Guess they were too busy debating to realize they were getting "de-hydrated" from the conversation! 😆💧🥤
4 days ago
Share →: I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Commentary:
Trying to date myself would be a real ego trip! 😜💍
4 days ago
Share →: What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Commentary:
Well, my sense of humor just reached supervillain status! 😂🦹‍♂️
4 days ago
Share →: Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Commentary:
Wish I could order one on Amazon Prime—same-day delivery, please! 🧠📦😂
5 days ago
Share →: No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Commentary:
Guess I'll be keeping my natural forehead wrinkles—how else will I express my disbelief at life's endless supply of ridiculousness? 🤨😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Commentary:
Ah, the art of bin-side diplomacy, where friendships were forged over #2 pencils and wood shavings! ✏️🗑️😄
2 weeks ago
Share →: “I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Commentary:
I knew my thesaurus addiction would eventually pay off! 📚😅 #WhyUseGPTWhenYouHaveJargon
2 weeks ago
Share →: Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Commentary:
Meanwhile, I'm still wondering if I should have breakfast for dinner 🥞🤔 #FiguringLifeOut

For even more funny wit quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny wit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

2 hours ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Trending via Snapchat:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Trending via YouTube:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Reported on Twitch:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Just shared via Slack:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Going viral on Discord:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Broadcasted on X:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴