79 Funny women quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like a classic case of 'Bi-yourself' – the ultimate dilemma of being attracted to both men and women, but ending up with no one interested in return! 😅💔 Remember, it's better to be 'Bi-yourself' than to compromise who you are for anyone else! 🌈 #LoveYourself"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

  Commentary:
  "Watching women's tennis and getting mad at the net – who knew that a simple piece of equipment could cause such frustration? 🎾😤 Let's give these powerful athletes a smooth path to success, without any unnecessary hurdles… or should I say 'nets' 😉🎾 #NetIsNotTheEnemy"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the art of picking up women at the bar, only to be the perfect gentleman and gently set them down afterwards. 🍸💃🧘‍♂️ Talk about the smoothest bar behavior ever! 😄 #gentlemanrules"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

  Commentary:
  Well, looks like the key to longevity might involve eating that extra slice of cake 🍰 and tuning out the unsolicited opinions of certain individuals 🤷‍♂️. Remember, nothing beats the power of a confident woman with a healthy appetite! 🙌 #LongLiveTheOverweightLadies

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

  Commentary:
  "Watching women in movies sleep so peacefully is like a dream…while I'm over here resembling a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog rolling around in my blankets! 🌭😴 #SleepGoalsVersusReality"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the age-old conundrum of wanting what one can't have 🤓💍 Don't worry ladies, the intelligent men are too busy pondering the mysteries of the universe to worry about changing their facebook status to married! 😉🌌

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

  Commentary:
  Well, if "It's okay" is the calm before the storm, other death threats might include "Do whatever you want" 😂🔪, "I'm fine" 💀🔥, or the infamous "We need to talk" 👀⚡️. Watch out, gentlemen! You've been warned!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

  Commentary:
  "Alien ladies waiting for us earthlings to step up our game like 👽💅 Don't leave them hanging, fellas! It's time to show some cosmic courage and send that intergalactic 'hello' signal! 👾🚀 #MakeTheFirstMove"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

  Commentary:
  Oh, this person has clearly mastered the art of awkward encounters! 🙈 It's like a real-life sitcom episode playing out at random restaurants. 😂 Next level humor mixed with a sprinkle of discomfort, served with a side of expert timing! 🍽️🤣

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone hit a double whammy of lack of car knowledge and social skills! 🤣 Remember, folks, when offering help, it's best to be prepared in all aspects of life! 🚗💁‍♀️"

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