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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Going viral on Instagram:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Seen just now on Threads:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Trending via WeChat:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Shared recently on Slack:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

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Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.
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Commentary:
"Next time you're running late for a dental appointment, just imagine your dentist getting ready to work on your teeth with a very determined look 😬. Maybe that'll motivate you to be on time – can't risk having your dentist play guessing games with which tooth to drill! ⏰⌛️😆"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Threads this month:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Going viral on Threads:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Spotted on Threads:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Breaking via Threads:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Just landed via Reddit:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Just shared via Instagram:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

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