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Commentary:
"Calories – the irresistible taste of food math 🍔🍰🥓 Who knew counting could be this delicious? Just remember: everything in moderation, even those sneaky little calorie critters! 😜🍴"

calorie, diet, eating, food, good, health, humor, joke

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

2 months ago

adulthood, after, being, day, exhaustion, fatigue, forever, humor, just, life, tired, waking, waking up
You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

2 months ago

burger, Burger King, Burger Kingdom, crown, fast, fast food, food, food humor, got, humor, humor quote, just, king, kingdom, legitimacy, parody, question, satire
When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

2 months ago

carrot, everything, humor, perspective, smell, smells, snowman, winter
Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

3 months ago

7am, awareness, humor, i, kids, parenting, Saturday
Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

2 months ago

chore, daughter, dishwasher, empty, family, humor, just, parenting, please, pray, prayer, tired, yesterday
If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

2 months ago

class, education, endless, hour, humor, i, just, left, life, live, math, school, spend, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

26 shares on Threads this month:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Just landed via Reddit:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Breaking via Reddit:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Just landed via Instagram:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Going viral on Threads:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

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Activity Log ✨

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨