Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.