I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

For the record, I use a turntable.

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They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

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If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

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If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

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Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

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Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.