Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Trying to diet but failing miserably? Blame it on that pesky condition called being HUNGRY 🍔🍟🍦. No shame in prioritizing your stomach's needs over salad, right? 😉"

being, condition, diet, dieting, humor, hunger, hungry, i, me

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

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2 months ago

activity, comparison, drinking, humor, irony, opposite, snorkeling, straw
If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

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2 months ago

alien, away, dinosaur, dinosaurs, humor, light, light year, million, observation, science, science humor, space, telescope, time, time travel, travel, watching, year
Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

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1 month ago

exercise, fitness, fitness talk, hear, humor, motivation, talk, treadmill, wants, workout
When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

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2 months ago

animal, awww, cute, cute animal, humor, nature, observation, reaction, say, squirrel, wildlife
A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

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4 months ago

fabric, filled, much, needle, nostalgia, sewing, tomato
I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

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2 months ago

after, bottom, dance, humor, hurt, i, injury, office, party, shaking, twerk, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am thick and tired.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

36 shares on Threads this month:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Spotted on Instagram:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Live now on Discord:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Just shared via Discord:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Live now on Slack:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨