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Commentary:
"Trying to diet but failing miserably? Blame it on that pesky condition called being HUNGRY 🍔🍟🍦. No shame in prioritizing your stomach's needs over salad, right? 😉"

being, condition, diet, dieting, humor, hunger, hungry, i, me

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11 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

17 shares on Slack this month:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Making waves on Reddit:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Just shared via Telegram:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Just landed via WeChat:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Spotted on Twitch:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Going viral on Facebook:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Just shared via TikTok:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Spotted on Threads:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Keep the laugh going 😂

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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