I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

2 months ago

Commentary:
"Parenting: transforming infinite patience into 'Did you just eat that off the floor?!' in 0.5 seconds. 🤦‍♂️👶 #ParentLife"

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

2 months ago

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I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

2 months ago

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The older I get, no.

5 months ago

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It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

2 months ago

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I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

2 months ago

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Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

2 months ago

confidence, day, flirting, hot, humor, i, me, nice, self-esteem

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