Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.
  • The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.
  • This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.
  • I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.
  • Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.
  • If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.