Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"If I was an elephant, you'd all be sorry 🐘🤣 Better step lightly, folks, or I'll trump-et my way through your fine china collection! Watch out, fragile items ahead! #ElephantInTheRoom"

animal, elephant, exaggeration, humor, i, imagination, joke, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

0

5 months ago

anxiety, detail, every, got, great, humor, i, insomnia, know, middle, night, overthinking, problem, problems, review, sleep, wake, worry
Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

0

4 months ago

break, breaks, commercial, commercial break, comparison, feel, humor, movie, relaxation, short, short break, stress, stressful, weekend
I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

0

4 weeks ago

birth, date, date of birth, exactly, health, hear, humor, i, information, just, lack, line, love, me, name, personal, personal information, pharmacy, pharmacy line, privacy, public, shouting, standing, world, wrong
100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

0

2 months ago

baby, humor, irony, joke, pathetic, unemployment
They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

0

5 months ago

album, commentary, conspiracy, Epstein, humor, list, music, phone, phones, send, should, social, social commentary, u2, U2 album
I’m ready to try another planet.

0

2 months ago

adventure, another, exploration, humor, planet, ready, space, travel, try

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

38 shares on X this month:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

31 shares on Slack this month:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Just shared via Facebook:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Live now on Threads:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Going viral on Twitch:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Going viral on WeChat:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

I’m ready to try another planet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨