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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Trending via Discord:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Rock bottom ain’t even that bad of a place to be if you’re into collecting rocks.

Going viral on Messenger:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Live now on LinkedIn:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Spotted on Messenger:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about judging authenticity, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, if only life came with a built-in counterfeit detector! 💸 It would save us so much time and trouble trying to figure out who's genuine and who's just putting on a show. But hey, at least we have our intuition, right? And maybe a magnifying glass wouldn't hurt… 🔍😄"

banknote, fake, hold, humor, light, people, real, shame

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

56 shares on X this month:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Spotted on X:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Shared recently on Threads:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Just landed via YouTube:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Just landed via TikTok:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Just shared via X:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

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