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Commentary:
"Ah, if only life came with a built-in counterfeit detector! 💸 It would save us so much time and trouble trying to figure out who's genuine and who's just putting on a show. But hey, at least we have our intuition, right? And maybe a magnifying glass wouldn't hurt… 🔍😄"

banknote, fake, hold, humor, light, people, real, shame

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

4 months ago
annoyance, annoying, communication, email, heart, humor, newsletter, nothing, receiving, sarcasm
If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

1 month ago
balcony, care, gardening, humor, i, much, need, pill, plants, relationship, responsibility
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

2 months ago
cause, happiness, humor, irony, whenever, wherever
Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward situations, disappointment, family, humor, i, parents, people, relationships, same, situations, threesome, time, visit, want
Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

1 month ago
diet, exercise, humor, option, Ozempic, poor, secret, strict, third, too, undisciplined
I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

1 month ago
computer, found, freezing, humor, i, joke, open, technology, troubleshooting, window

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

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Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

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Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

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If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

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The new American dream is an alien invasion.

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If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

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Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

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I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Just shared via Twitch:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Seen just now on Threads:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Live now on Telegram:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

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It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

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It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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