Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.
  • I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
  • I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.
  • Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”
  • I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.
  • Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.