Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Trending via Telegram:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Making waves on WeChat:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Shared recently on Threads:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

0
Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, true adventure doesn't require risking a bison charge just for a photo op 🤳🦬 Embrace life's moments without needing proof that you once came face to face with a wild, furry giant! 🤣🌿 #LifeIsMoreThanBisonSelfies"

, , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,226

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Spotted on Facebook:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Making waves on YouTube:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Making waves on Reddit:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Going viral on Reddit:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Making waves on Instagram:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴