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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic struggle of wanting more sleep than time allows 😴💤 May the odds be ever in your favor as you embark on this noble quest for elusive rest! Remember, a solid power nap can work wonders too 😉🌙"

exhaustion, forward, hours, humor, irony, looking, looking forward, night, sleep, tonight, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

0

1 month ago

anything, excited, excitement, humor, laziness, procrastination, sarcasm, super, today
My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

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4 months ago

always, coffee, confidence, daily, daily routine, drink, humor, plan, plans, routine, same, sexy, today
Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

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2 months ago

across, bed, couple, current, diagonal, diagonally, humor, laziness, position, relationship, sleep, sleep position, sleeping, status
Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

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2 months ago

fun, humor, mad, media, online, online reactions, people, pic, pizza, post, reactions, social, social media, Twitter
My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

0

2 months ago

humor, husband, i, irony, love, marriage, relationship, second, second look, sight
“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, coping, countdown, day, even, Friday, having, humor, least, me, optimism, relatable, tomorrow, Wednesday, weekend, well, workweek, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Instagram this month:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

81 shares on X this month:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

I need money, not feelings.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Making waves on TikTok:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Shared recently on Slack:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Broadcasted on Threads:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Trending via YouTube:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨