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I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

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Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

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About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

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Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

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If I could turn water into wine, Iโ€™d have lots of followers too.

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I dare you to try and be more single than me.

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He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

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Please donโ€™t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

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My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

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Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

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My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Commentary:
Looks like Grandad's time traveling adventures took an unexpected turn! ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐Ÿ˜… Hopefully he's brushing up on his history lessons for his next trip!



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