Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like he couldn't handle the hard-hitting truth during the PowerPoint roast session! 🤭💼 Better luck next time trying to dodge self-awareness, hubby! 😜🖥️

annoying, annoying habit, communication, habit, habits, humor, husband, me, offended, offense, PowerPoint, presentation, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

4 weeks ago

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If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

1 month ago

always, attitude, band, guitar, humor, hurt, music, performance, play, sure
I can feel your energy from two planets away.

4 weeks ago

away, connection, distance, energy, feel, humor, i, planets, vibe
Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

1 month ago

buy, cake, celebration, food, humor, indulgence, just, need, purchase, reason, remember, special, treat
I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

1 month ago

bet, dumb, even, fake, fake laugh, humor, i, joke, jokes, laugh, relationship, sarcasm
God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

4 weeks ago

dating, God, humor, love, patience, relationship, soulmate, tracking, wish

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

41 shares on X this month:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

92 shares on Instagram this month:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

96 shares on X this month:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Spotted on Threads:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Just landed via Instagram:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Going viral on Threads:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨