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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Making waves on WeChat:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Just shared via WeChat:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Trending via Discord:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Just landed via Telegram:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

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My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.
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Commentary:
Looks like he couldn't handle the hard-hitting truth during the PowerPoint roast session! 🤭💼 Better luck next time trying to dodge self-awareness, hubby! 😜🖥️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

63 shares on Discord this month:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

45 shares on X this month:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Live now on TikTok:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Just landed via YouTube:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Seen just now on Twitch:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Spotted on YouTube:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Just landed via Threads:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Making waves on Discord:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

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