Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Trending via Facebook:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Spotted on Messenger:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

1 week ago

Witty quote about a kid finding toothpaste too spicy despite eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a future food critic in the making – toothpaste reviews by day and snack critiques by night! Who knew that a kid's taste buds could be so discerning? Perhaps we should start a "Spice Level Ratings for Kids" chart to navigate the fine line between dental hygiene and fiery snacks!

cheetos, contradiction, flamin’, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, hot, humor, kid, me, parenting, snack, spicy, toothpaste, trouble

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

56 shares on Discord this month:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,297

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Live now on Discord:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Spotted on TikTok:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Broadcasted on X:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Just shared via Reddit:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴