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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,809

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Going bananas on X:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Trending via TikTok:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Seen just now on Discord:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

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My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a future food critic in the making – toothpaste reviews by day and snack critiques by night! Who knew that a kid's taste buds could be so discerning? Perhaps we should start a "Spice Level Ratings for Kids" chart to navigate the fine line between dental hygiene and fiery snacks!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on X this month:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

34 shares on X this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

25 shares on X this month:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

79 shares on X this month:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a long hot meteor shower.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,642

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Just shared via Instagram:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Just shared via Slack:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Live now on Twitch:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

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