Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,036

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Going viral on Slack:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Live now on Twitch:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Just shared via WeChat:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Going viral on Facebook:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

More funny quotes 👇

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

0

3 hours ago

birth, birth year, Christmas, Christmas present, consider, floor, gentle, gift, gift wrap, holiday, humor, present, presents, reminder, should, table, wrap, wrapping, year
“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

0

3 hours ago

alone, everyone, family, holiday, home, home alone, house, humor, moment, movie, peace, reminder
For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

0

3 hours ago

Christmas, confusion, figure, holiday, humor, ID, life, self-improvement, wish
Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

0

3 hours ago

1, 2, Christmas, holiday, humor, oh, procrastination, shopping, stages, stress, time
Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

0

3 hours ago

burger, Burger King, childhood, childhood nostalgia, disappearance, disappearing, fast, fast food, food, forest, going, Grinch, Grinch meal, humor, king, McDonald’s, meal, nostalgia, Spongebob, Spongebob meal, twenty
December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

0

3 hours ago

beard, belief, Christmas, claus, December, everything, fat, fat man, fix, holiday, man, me, Santa, Santa Claus, someone
Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

0

3 hours ago

alive, app, digital, digital pet, going, humor, irony, keep, mobile, mobile app, needs, offline, pet, someone, Tamagotchi, technology, virtual, virtual pet
Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

3

1 day ago

car, car repair, carey, cd, Christmas, Christmas CD, fine, holiday, holiday music, making, mariah, Mariah Carey, mechanic, music, noise, repair, terrible
I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

0

1 day ago

budgeting, finance, hate, humor, i, lose, math, me, money, personal, personal finance, self blame, spending, where
December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

0

1 day ago

calorie, count, December, diet, eating, festive, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, law

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

54 shares on TikTok this month:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

56 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Just landed via Discord:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Just shared via WeChat:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Trending via WeChat:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Trending via Slack:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨