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Commentary:
"Parenting: where you end up being bossed around by tiny humans you created… talk about a 'hostage situation' 😅👶👪 #BulliedByOurOwnCreations"

bullied, crazy, family, getting, here, humor, kids, parenthood, parenting, people

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, came, casual, casual activity, confidence, everything, humor, i, just, right, self-assurance, walk
The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

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2 months ago

able, being, buy, happiness, irony, much, not wanting, secret, simplicity, want, wanting, whatever
My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

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3 months ago

2007, age, born, email, emails, humor, i, intern, millennial, office, older, technology, unread, unread email, year
Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

0

2 months ago

change, clock, domestic, domestic life, ever, form, humor, kitchen, laziness, life, microwave, morning, robe, Sunday, Sunday morning, time, time travel, travel
Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

0

2 months ago

40s, aging, another, chin, humor, oh, surprise, surprises, welcome
Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

0

2 months ago

geometry, humor, just, math, mean, prove, scam, triangle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Threads this month:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

46 shares on Discord this month:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

90 shares on X this month:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Trending via Instagram:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Live now on Telegram:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Just landed via WeChat:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨