Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.
  • I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.
  • Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
  • Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.
  • People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.
  • Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.