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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Making waves on Twitch:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Just landed via Threads:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Making waves on Threads:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Seen just now on Facebook:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Trending via TikTok:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Trending via Slack:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

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Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, Satan is really putting his foot down on the whole animal sacrifice situation! 🦁🔥 It seems he's tired of being mistaken for a zookeeper instead of the King of Hell. Maybe it's time for some self-reflection and a new hobby, Satan! 🤔😈

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

54 shares on X this month:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

65 shares on Threads this month:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, but profoundly.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Breaking via Telegram:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Trending via Threads:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Freshly posted on Discord:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Trending via TikTok:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Just shared via Slack:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Making waves on Slack:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Just shared via WeChat:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

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