Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?
  • “God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.
  • This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.
  • Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.
  • I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.
  • Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.