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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

1 month ago
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I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

1 month ago
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Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

1 month ago
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Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

1 month ago
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The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

1 month ago
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There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

2 months ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Just landed via Messenger:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Making waves on X:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

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Activity Log ✨

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

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That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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