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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Shared recently on Facebook:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Just landed via YouTube:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Freshly posted on Threads:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Witty text about modern art persuading people it's genuine art, playful and humorous in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of convincing people that blobs of paint on a canvas or a random pile of rocks is a masterpiece 🎨💭 It's all about that magical spell of persuasion, turning 'Is this art?' into 'Wow, that's art!' 🪄✨ Who knew art could be so sneaky and persuasive?"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Dear music, thanks!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Just landed via Messenger:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Just shared via Reddit:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Trending via Snapchat:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Going viral on Telegram:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

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