Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.
  • Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.
  • Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.
  • I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.
  • I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.
  • If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.