Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs wind turbines or solar panels when you have the incredible energy generated by a slamming car door? 💥🚗 Just make sure to stand back and watch the power of that slam! 💪😆"

car, car door, crisis, door, energy, energy crisis, humor, marriage, power, relationship, sarcasm, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

2 months ago

humor, memory, money, organization, purse, receipt, shopping, year
That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

2 months ago

always, feel, guys, hour, humor, irony, media, much, nice, procrastination, scroll, self-reflection, social, social media, tomorrow, Twitter, worse
The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

2 months ago

after, am, clap, confusion, cool, doing, guy, hell, humor, i, reaction, seeing, something
My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

5 months ago

animal, day, humor, laziness, nap, sleep, sloth, spirit, spirit animal
Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

2 months ago

activity, excuse, humor, i, imagination, mental, mental activity, oh, overthinking, right, sorry, things, worry, worrying
I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

2 months ago

cooking, drawer, humor, i, kitchen, kitchenware, mishap, open, organization, put, spatula, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

93 shares on Discord this month:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

58 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Just landed via Messenger:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Shared recently on Discord:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Trending via Discord:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Going viral on TikTok:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨