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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

48 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Spotted on Facebook:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Just landed via Pinterest:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Going viral on Pinterest:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Just landed via WeChat:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Breaking via TikTok:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

6 months ago

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the lack of danger music in real life certainly makes things feel less dramatic 🎶🚨 Just imagine having a soundtrack to signal when things are about to get intense – would make for some epic moments or maybe chaos! 🔊💥 Oh well, I guess we'll just have to rely on our instincts and hope for the best! 🤷‍♂️ #WhereIsTheDangerMusic

danger, humor, know, life, music, real, reality, trouble

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

48 minutes ago

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Just landed via Discord:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Trending via WeChat:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Reported on WhatsApp:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Live now on YouTube:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

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