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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

210 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,479

Funny Quotes Topics

17,544

Funny Quotes Images

15,479

Jan 4, 2026

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Going viral on Slack:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Going viral on Facebook:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Spotted on TikTok:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

2 months ago

0

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"By that logic, I must really adore you because I've got a whole list of nicknames in mind for you! 🤣👏 Let's see, we've got 'nickelodeon,' 'nickelback,' and 'nickel and dime.' Looks like our friendship is worth every cent ✨💰 #FriendshipGoals"

affection, endearment, humor, i, nickname, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

0

2 months ago

alone, bed, bedtime, crumb, crumbs, humor, joke, loneliness, sleeping, sleeping alone, snack
Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

0

3 weeks ago

book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book
If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

0

5 months ago

getting, humor, indulgence, motivation, self-care, spoil, spoiled, treat yourself, yourself
Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

0

2 months ago

bad, bathroom, combination, having, household, humor, inconvenience, joke, outside, practical, practical joke, sibling, switch
This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

0

2 months ago

baking, baking fail, close, codes, design, even, fail, festive, festive fun, fire, fire safety, fun, gingerbread, gingerbread house, holiday, holiday humor, house, house design, humor, safety, safety codes
They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

0

2 months ago

anger, emotion, frustration, healing, mad, sarcasm, say, still, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on X this month:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

95 shares on X this month:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

210 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,479

Funny Quotes Topics

17,544

Funny Quotes Images

15,479

Updated

Jan 4, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Trending via Facebook:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Going viral on TikTok:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Live now on Pinterest:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

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