Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Jan 5, 2026

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Spotted on Instagram:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Spotted on Discord:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

2 months ago

0

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"By that logic, I must really adore you because I've got a whole list of nicknames in mind for you! 🤣👏 Let's see, we've got 'nickelodeon,' 'nickelback,' and 'nickel and dime.' Looks like our friendship is worth every cent ✨💰 #FriendshipGoals"

affection, endearment, humor, i, nickname, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

0

2 months ago

honesty, humor, i, irony, lie, love, lying, saying, why
I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

0

2 months ago

activity, dating, fun, fun activity, health, hope, i, laid, mental, mental health, own, relationships, soon
We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

0

2 months ago

comma, education, humor, irony, Oxford, sarcasm, wit
What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

0

2 months ago

bagel, eat, everything, everything bagel, food, food humor, humor, messy, plan, snack, Washington
There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

0

2 months ago

discord, Discord Nitro, gaming, humor, living, nitro, online, online service, pay, paying, people, real, service, subscription, us
Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

0

2 months ago

good, humor, irony, memory, nostalgia, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

85 shares on X this month:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

28 shares on Discord this month:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

70 shares on X this month:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

91 shares on Discord this month:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Just landed via Slack:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Trending via Snapchat:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Breaking via Discord:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Making waves on Messenger:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Just shared via WeChat:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Just shared via Facebook:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Going viral on Instagram:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

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