Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

515 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,108

Funny Quotes Topics

17,263

Funny Quotes Images

15,108

Dec 25, 2025

3,981

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Spotted on YouTube:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Going bananas on Discord:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Spotted on TikTok:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Just shared via Messenger:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Making waves on Threads:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Shared recently on TikTok:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

2 months ago

0

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"By that logic, I must really adore you because I've got a whole list of nicknames in mind for you! 🤣👏 Let's see, we've got 'nickelodeon,' 'nickelback,' and 'nickel and dime.' Looks like our friendship is worth every cent ✨💰 #FriendshipGoals"

affection, endearment, humor, i, nickname, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

0

2 months ago

education, frustration, hate, humor, i, irony, know, put, question, school, teacher, work
“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

0

3 months ago

communication, even, here, humor, introvert, personality, presence, quiet, sarcasm, why
“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

0

1 month ago

9, coping, coping skill, date, dramatic, emotional, healthy, humor, just, me, minutes, November, November Rain, rain, relationship, self-awareness, skill, skills, someone, too
Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

0

2 months ago

asking, donation, every, humor, me, question, request, sarcasm, someone, time, Wikipedia
People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

0

2 months ago

activity, ad, awkwardness, birthday, celebration, feels, fun, fun activity, happy, humor, people, singing, unskippable
Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

0

2 weeks ago

biting, funny invitation, gingerbread, gingerbread man, heads, holiday, holiday treat, invitation, man, men, snack, sweet, sweet snack, swing, treat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

64 shares on Slack this month:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

67 shares on Reddit this month:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

71 shares on X this month:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

515 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,108

Funny Quotes Topics

17,263

Funny Quotes Images

15,108

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,716

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Making waves on Messenger:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Going viral on Discord:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Making waves on TikTok:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Trending via Snapchat:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Live now on TikTok:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Seen just now on X:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

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