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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Shared recently on Discord:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Spotted on Discord:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Seen just now on Discord:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Going bananas on WeChat:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Trending via Messenger:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Just landed via Reddit:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about mornings and struggle to get out of bed with humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the struggle is real even before the day begins! 🤣😴 Keep groaning, champ, you'll make it out eventually! 💪😉"

bed, humor, laughter, noise, sex, sex noise, struggle, trying, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

1 month ago

addiction, day, humor, indian, Indian name, name, phone, phone addiction, smartphone, stares, staring, technology
None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

3 weeks ago

book, books, bruh, calling, family, humor, kid, kids, language, none, parenting, say, slang, start
My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

1 month ago

act, act of God, five-year, five-year plan, God, humor, life, life plan, only, plan, sarcasm, unpredictability
I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

3 weeks ago

appreciation, humor, i, just, notice, noticed, post, thank, wanted, week, weeks
I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

3 weeks ago

absurdity, away, believe, comedy, days, government, having, humor, i, IRS, joke, nuclear, nuclear weapon, satire, weapon
We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

3 weeks ago

Barbie, culture, environmentalism, got, humor, irony, little, microplastic, microplastics, pop, pop culture, self-reflection, us

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Breaking via Threads:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Making waves on Messenger:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Going viral on Reddit:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Going viral on TikTok:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨