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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,561

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Making waves on WeChat:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Spotted on Telegram:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Just landed via Slack:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Just shared via Facebook:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

2 months ago

0

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic shopper's dilemma: when your feet are tired, but your shopping game is still going strong! 👠💸 Who needs a break when you can just slip into a new pair of fabulous shoes and keep the spree alive? It's retail therapy at its finest! 💃🛍️ #ShoeObsession"

activity, fun, fun activity, i, sh, shopping, sit, sit down, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

0

2 months ago

cause, happiness, humor, irony, whenever, wherever
My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

0

2 months ago

bake, baking, British, comedy, dream, driving, DUI, food, great, Great British Bake Off, humor, Saab, tent
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

0

2 months ago

eye, humor, joke, lemon, life, prank, someone, squirt
I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

0

2 months ago

better, care, health, humor, liquor, liquor store, myself, procrastination, self-care, start, store, tomorrow, walk, walking
Some people get it. Most people don’t.

0

2 months ago

difference, humor, insight, most, people, understanding
Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

0

2 months ago

camera, freak, freak out, front, funny parenting, home, home security, kids, parenting, ring, Ring camera, security, surveillance, yell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

72 shares on Discord this month:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

74 shares on X this month:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Trending via YouTube:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Going viral on Messenger:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Just landed via X:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Trending via Pinterest:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Just landed via Reddit:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

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