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Commentary:
"Why put off procrastinating when you could put off putting it off? 🤔😂 Embracing the art of delay is a skill perfected by tomorrow's champions!"

always, delay, humor, later, procrastinate, time, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, conversation, escape, everyone, humor, i, interaction, jealousy, planning, relationship, silence, social, social interaction, stand, while
Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

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2 months ago

answer, full, humor, idiot, idiots, life, question, questions, sarcasm
My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

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2 months ago

always, boyfriend, complain, humor, i, irony, never, relationship, serious, serious relationship, smile, wanted
That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

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2 months ago

end, fruit, game, games, gaming, gaming humor, great, hoarding, hold, humor, item, me, never, procrastination, relatable, thing, video, video game, where
I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

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2 months ago

awake, bedtime, child, clean, exceptions, house, humor, new, past, policy, sleep
If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

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2 months ago

activity, cart, dating, fun, fun activity, pending, relationship, single, talk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Messenger this month:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

22 shares on Slack this month:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

38 shares on X this month:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Shared recently on Discord:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Live now on WhatsApp:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Live now on Threads:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨