Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of hopes vs. nopes! 🤣 While you're busy dreaming big, I'm over here with my collection of screams ready for any unexpected plot twist life throws my way! 😱💭"

comedy, dreams, expectations, hopes, humor, i, nopes, sarcasm, screams

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

0

2 months ago

boys, cheating, disgusting, dog, dogs, humor, island, life, love, Love Island, me, obsession, real, real life, women
Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

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4 months ago

exercise, funny habit, habit, language, mental, mental exercise, mentally, pronunciation, saying, spelling, Wednesday, word, wordplay, writing
I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

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5 months ago

caught, cream, diet, dieting, eat, eating, food, going, humor, husband, i, ice, ice cream, last, last night, night, relationship, second, spouse, together
I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

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2 months ago

animal, animals, conversation, humor, i, imagination, personality, quirky, reply, stable, talk, wait
The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

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3 weeks ago

being, cheating, dating, days, humor, infidelity, know, problem, relationship, relationships, trust
I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

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2 months ago

6, 6 a.m., a.m., am, early, early riser, energy, exercise, fitness, humor, i, lifestyle, morning, morning run, motivation, people, riser, run, runner, want, whatever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Going viral on Discord:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Going bananas on Discord:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Trending via Instagram:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Trending via Pinterest:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Live now on Facebook:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Live now on WhatsApp:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Spotted on Instagram:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Seen just now on Slack:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨