50+ Funny Things Quotes That Prove Life’s Little Moments Are The Funniest

New funny things quotes

• I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

• Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

• My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

• I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

• My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

• I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

• Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

• Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

• If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

• I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Top funny things quotes

• I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

• Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

• One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

• The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

• Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

• Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

• Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

• Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

• Even wild things have slow mornings.

• Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Popular funny things quotes

• It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

• Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

• Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

• “Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

• Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

• “You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

• Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

• I’m tired of things costing money.

• I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

• I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

More funny things quotes

• The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

• If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

• Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

• They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

• Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

• One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

• Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?

• It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

• I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

• Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Witty things quotes

• The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

• If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

• The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

• I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

• I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

• Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

• Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

• Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

• I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

• Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Funny things quotes remind us that it’s often the little, random moments that bring the biggest laughs 😂. From things that don’t make any sense 🤷‍♂️ to things we swear we’ll never do (but always do anyway) 🤪, these quotes celebrate the humor in everyday life. Perfect for anyone who loves finding joy in the absurd, unexpected, and downright ridiculous things that happen all the time 🤣. So keep noticing, keep laughing, and enjoy the funny little things that make life so entertaining 😆!