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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

4 hours ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Making waves on Instagram:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Trending via Twitch:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Going viral on X:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Just shared via Threads:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Going viral on X:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Live now on Twitch:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Trending via Slack:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

4 months ago

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the siren song of temptation leading to a steamy demise! 🔥🚿 Beware of the waters that hold more surprises than a mystery novel. Some showers are not for the faint of heart but for the brave souls willing to risk a spontaneous sauna session. Proceed with caution, or you might end up as a well-done dish instead of a relaxed bather! 😅🔥"

cook, humor, relationship, shower, temperature, water, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

4 hours ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Shared recently on X:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Making waves on YouTube:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Going viral on X:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Breaking via Messenger:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Spotted on Threads:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Seen just now on X:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Just landed via Snapchat:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

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