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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,540

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,540

Nov 26, 2025

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Broadcasted on X:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Just shared via Reddit:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Just landed via Threads:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Spotted on X:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

4 weeks ago

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂 "Ah, the irony of needing the Heimlich Maneuver while struggling to say 'Heimlich'! Talk about a tongue-twister in a moment of distress. Say 'Heimlich' five times fast before breakfast to prepare yourself – you never know when you might need it! 🤣"

choking, Heimlich, humor, impossible, joke, maneuver, pronunciation, thing, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,540

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,540

Nov 26, 2025

3,952

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Trending via Messenger:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Shared recently on X:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Just shared via Instagram:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Spotted on Threads:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

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