Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.
  • You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.
  • I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.
  • My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.
  • When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.
  • Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.