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Commentary:
"Before I start fixing myself, does anyone actually enjoy me in my chaotic, unhinged glory? 🤪🔧 Maybe I should just embrace the madness and run with it! Who needs self-improvement anyway? 🤷‍♂️😂"

before, humor, i, me, myself, relationship, self-improvement, unhinged, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

0

2 months ago

am, communication, expression, humor, i, introvert, podcast, saying, shy, transformation
Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

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2 months ago

bad, bad news, eating, food, good, good news, humor, i, news, pizza, repetition, slice, times
When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

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2 months ago

address, annoyance, email, frustration, humor, i, technology, TV, type, typing
I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

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2 months ago

decompose, decompress, humor, i, relaxation, stress, work
Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

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2 months ago

changing, dating, give, give up, humor, humor quote, i, joke, relationship, relationship status, single, status
I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

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2 months ago

bike, child, childhood, cry, i, nostalgia, old, skateboard, technology, used, wifi

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

49 shares on Reddit this month:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Just shared via Telegram:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Going viral on YouTube:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Just landed via X:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨