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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Making waves on X:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Live now on WeChat:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Just landed via YouTube:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Making waves on Facebook:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Breaking via Messenger:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

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Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.
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Commentary:
📰🥗🤔 Extra! Extra! Read all about it! 🤣 Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is shocking the internet by having salad for dinner tonight! Time to brace yourselves for this groundbreaking update, folks! Will her friends survive this unexpected turn of events? Stay tuned for more riveting updates from the world of social media dining! 🥗💻 #SaladDrama

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Telegram this month:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

63 shares on Slack this month:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

21 shares on Threads this month:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,331

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Making waves on Threads:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Just shared via Pinterest:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Trending via WeChat:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Going viral on Discord:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Spotted on Facebook:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Trending via YouTube:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Spotted on X:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

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