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Commentary:
Looks like your son tried to find a "shocking" new hobby! ⚡️ Good call on grounding him – let's hope he doesn't get too "amped up" in the future! 🔌😄

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

2 months ago

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I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

2 months ago

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I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

2 months ago

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Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

2 months ago

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I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

6 months ago

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Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

73 shares on TikTok this month:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

50 shares on Threads this month:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Making waves on Threads:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Breaking via X:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Just landed via WeChat:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Spotted on Instagram:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨