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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Going viral on Telegram:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Making waves on WeChat:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Just shared via Threads:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Just landed via Telegram:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Just landed via Instagram:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

2 months ago

0

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of a modern human – the irresistible urge to refresh a page as if it holds the secret to all life's answers. 🔄💥 "Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page" – a battle as epic as any Greek myth, starring us mere mortals and our relentless pursuit of new content! 🤣🔁 #RefreshingStruggles

frustration, humor, i, internet, keep, page, persistence, rage, refreshing, still, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

0

2 months ago

ankle, anything, high, humor, injury, joint, just, pun
Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

0

2 months ago

baby, date, girl, girls, great, i, idea, pay, relationship, trip
I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

0

2 months ago

bad, chocolate, diet, eating, giving, giving up, humor, month, punctuation, sorry
When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

0

2 months ago

camera, camera zoom, commentary, contact, episode, eye, eye contact, humor, i, marriage, married, office, side, style, The Office, video, video style, want, wedding, wedding video, Zoom
Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

0

6 months ago

actually, astrology, demon, frustration, humor, Mercury, Mercury retrograde, midnight, retrograde, soul, wrap
I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

0

2 months ago

compatibility, dating, frustration, humor, i, love, nerf, people, relationships, romance, someone, times, understand

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Facebook this month:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

34 shares on Threads this month:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

39 shares on Messenger this month:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Breaking via Messenger:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Making waves on Instagram:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Making waves on Telegram:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Making waves on TikTok:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Trending via YouTube:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

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