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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Just shared via Messenger:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Live now on Messenger:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Just shared via WeChat:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Shared recently on Instagram:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Shared recently on X:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

2 months ago

0

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of a modern human – the irresistible urge to refresh a page as if it holds the secret to all life's answers. 🔄💥 "Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page" – a battle as epic as any Greek myth, starring us mere mortals and our relentless pursuit of new content! 🤣🔁 #RefreshingStruggles

frustration, humor, i, internet, keep, page, persistence, rage, refreshing, still, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

0

2 months ago

away, before, break, breaking, cook, cooking, food, half, humor, i, italian, joke, kitchen, pasta, spaghetti, tradition
Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

0

2 months ago

accomplish, accomplishment, center, holidays, humans, humor, irony, much, parking, shopping, shopping center, struggle
When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

0

2 months ago

humor, identity, Jenn, Jennifer, joke, name, nickname, people, play, play on words, short, think, words
I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

0

2 months ago

apology, french, humor, language, mispronunciation, soiree, wordplay, words
An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

0

2 months ago

adult, age, humor, life, noise, person, stand
Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

0

2 months ago

blessing, breakfast, convenience, food, humor, indulgence, leftover, leftover pizza, meal, pizza

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Slack this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

58 shares on Slack this month:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

90 shares on Threads this month:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Just shared via WeChat:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Shared recently on X:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Spreading quickly via X:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Spotted on Slack:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Making waves on Facebook:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

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