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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Spotted on YouTube:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Going viral on Telegram:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Breaking via Telegram:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Spotted on Messenger:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Shared recently on Telegram:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

2 months ago

0

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah yes, the perfect combo for a productive day! ☕️😅 Who needs boring old water when you can have a drink that gives you a kick, keeps you on edge, and has you rushing to the bathroom every hour? Coffee: fueling your addiction, anxiety, and bathroom breaks since forever! 😜

addiction, anxiety, beverage, caffeine, coffee, enjoy, humor, sarcasm, urinating

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, another, cautionary, cautionary tale, giant, horse, house, humor, i, irony, lesson, let, life, life lesson, mistake, mistakes, never, right, second, self-awareness, tale, wooden, wooden horse
Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, hack, happiness, health, humor, life, life hack, mental, mental health, mood, positivity, relaxation, sad, sleep
The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

0

2 months ago

end, fantasy, forever, humor, literature, Tolkien, Twitter, writing
When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

0

2 months ago

around, body, body image, engineer, fitness, good, health, humor, i, image, legs, lose, put, stomach, structural, structural engineer, weight
I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

0

2 months ago

am, books, buffet, food, good, hobby, humor, humor style, i, people, plants, self-deprecating, style
Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

0

2 months ago

appetite, big, craving, food, forget, forklift, fun, humor, i, joke, joke about food, mini, needs, oversized, pizza, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

86 shares on Slack this month:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,505

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Spotted on X:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Going bananas on Facebook:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Making waves on Telegram:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Broadcasted on X:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴