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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Seen just now on Messenger:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Making waves on Instagram:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Trending via Instagram:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Live now on Snapchat:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Trending via Discord:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of modern medicine: should we trust a doctor based on their medical expertise or the quality of their lollipop selection? It's a tough choice, but hey, at least you'll have something sweet to ponder while waiting in the waiting room!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

66 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Seen just now on X:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Going bananas on TikTok:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Spotted on Threads:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Just shared via Instagram:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Freshly posted on X:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Going viral on Slack:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Going viral on Instagram:

Long story short, I survived.

Just shared via Telegram:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

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