Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Making waves on Slack:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Just landed via Instagram:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The government even made aliens boring.

Live now on Messenger:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Trending via Slack:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of modern medicine: should we trust a doctor based on their medical expertise or the quality of their lollipop selection? It's a tough choice, but hey, at least you'll have something sweet to ponder while waiting in the waiting room!"

, , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

70 shares on X this month:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You are the Monday of my life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Broadcasted on Discord:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Just shared via Slack:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Just landed via WeChat:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Seen just now on X:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Spotted on TikTok:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Just landed via X:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴