Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Trending via Slack:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Trending via YouTube:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Going viral on WeChat:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Just landed via Threads:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Making waves on Discord:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Trending via Instagram:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

4 weeks ago

Humorous quote about holiday and everyday temptations ruining healthy eating plans.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, it's a true struggle trying to stick to healthy eating when there's a holiday or a day of the week involved. It's like they have it out for our diets! Maybe we need a new calendar that only has days labeled as 'Salad Day' to keep us on track."

Christmas, Easter, Friday, health, summer, Tuesday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

25 shares on Telegram this month:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

24 shares on Discord this month:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

27 shares on YouTube this month:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

All roads lead to disappointment.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People text you when you look good in photos.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Just landed via WeChat:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Going viral on Twitch:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Just landed via Slack:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Seen just now on Threads:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Just landed via Threads:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Live now on Telegram:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

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