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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,872

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Shared recently on WeChat:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Just landed via X:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Spreading quickly via X:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Spotted on YouTube:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Just landed via WeChat:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Making waves on Facebook:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

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Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, it's a true struggle trying to stick to healthy eating when there's a holiday or a day of the week involved. It's like they have it out for our diets! Maybe we need a new calendar that only has days labeled as 'Salad Day' to keep us on track."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

88 shares on Discord this month:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: he escaped.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,911

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Trending via Twitch:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Making waves on Twitch:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Making waves on Reddit:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Making waves on Facebook:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Trending via Instagram:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

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